Raw Chicken and Watermelons
by IhateMarySue'sSoooooMuch
Summary: Cartman loses a bet and has to cook for his friends. Unfortunately Token is less than pleased at what Cartman's serving him.


**This is dedicated to black people everywhere**

**May none of your punk ass bitches be trippin**

Cartman loved bets. It was totally tits just the see the pained look on Kyle's or anyone else face when they realized they had to do whateva he wanted and respect his authoritah. Although there was one teeny little not-so-tits thing that he hated about betting and that was losing. And unfortunately Cartman had a lost a bet to Stan Kyle and those other fags last night.

_Last night…_

"_I bet you guys ten bucks that one of you guys will crap yourselves if you watch this video!" _

_The group of nine and ten year olds were gathered in Cartman's bedroom at eight o'clock at night. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Craig, Butters, Clyde, Token and some kid Jason (yeah I don't know who he is either) were all standing around staring at the assortment of Barbie dolls on the floor and the posters of shirtless men on the walls._

_The fat piece of lard who had gathered them here was currently on the computer looking up something online that he had said was "so hella disgustin that you guys would all throw up!" _

"_You brought us here to watch a video?" asked Kyle incredulously._

"_Uh gee Eric…I don't think I should be out this late or my parents'll ground me…"_

"_Shut up Butters you little pussy! It's almost done buffering!"_

"_That's it. I'm leaving." Kyle turned and made for the door._

"_Yeah me too." Said Stan before following his friends lead (guess we can see who wears the pants in that relationship)._

"_You guys are just scared cause you know you'll throw up and embarrass yourselves!" _

"_We are not scared Fatass!" snapped Kyle._

"_Kay then lets make a bet." Said Eric Cartman (aka the whale from Free Willy) confidently "If you guys can get through the video without throwing up I'll be you guys's sexy maid for a week."_

"_Having Jabba the Hut as a maid?" asked Butters "Wow neat-o!" _

"_Shut up Butters you black asshole!" snapped Cartman._

_Regaining his cool the fat kid regarded them all smugly "But if any of you throw up then you'll have to be my sexy maids!"_

_The Jew rolled his eyes before replying "Fine Fatass! Now what's the video?"_

"_Two girl's one cup." Responded Cartman._

_The fat kid clicked a button on his computer and seconds later the moans and shitting noises of two Asian chicks filled the room much to the disgust of the other boys. _

"_Huh? I wonder what it would be like if two guys did that?" asked Butters in his seemingly innocent way which made Token and Clyde cast him weirded out looks._

"_Goddammit Butters no Family Guy references or I'll cut of your balls." Muttered Cartman while pinching the bridge of his nose._

_Present…_

And now unfortunately the fat child had lost his bet and was currently wearing one of his favorite articles of clothing: his sexy French maid outfit. Just stop and imagine that for a minute. Eric Cartman. In a. Sexy French maids outfit….

The rest of the boys were all sitting in the living room watching Terrance and Phillip (a repeat much to their annoyance). Kyle, Stan and Clyde sat on the sofa, Tweek on the armchair, Butters sat on the floor and the rest just lay on the floor aside from Token who was sitting on a wooden chair.

Cartman was currently in the kitchen preparing a meal for his beloved masters.

"Hey Fatass! Where's our food?" yelled Kyle.

"Yeh you'd better not be eating it!" came Stan's voice, this sentence was followed by an enormous bout of laughter.

Cartman walked in several seconds later balancing several dishes on is arms and head. The meals consisted of mainly sausages and chocolate fudge covered in Lucky Charms cereal.

However when Cartman reached Token the African-American realized his dish was different than the others.

"Cartman."

"Yes Token?"

"What the hell is this." It was more of a statement than an actual question.

"Raw chicken and watermelon sir." Was the reply.

Hearing no response from his brown friend Eric continued "I figure its what your people love most. I just hope you can get it through those lips of yours."

"What!?"

"Well your black Token so obviously the reason that there's so many starving black kids in the world is because their lips are too big to get food through them."

For several seconds the silence was deafening. Finally Token stood up.

"Token what are you doing?" asked Cartman "Do you need to go to the toilet? I can lay down some newspapers for you if you want."

"Token let out a battle cry before pouncing on the overweight transgender child in front of him. After delivering several swift punches to the face Token Roshambo'd the fat child causing a high pitched sound to come from Cartman's mouth.

"Ah! Token quit it! MOOOM!"

Liane Cartman's head poked through the door "Yes hun?"

"Token is being a huge black dick and his lips are too biiig to fit anything intoooo!"

"That's nice hun, just remember to use protection, ok?" Liane's head disappeared back behind the door. For several long and awkward seconds the group of fourth graders just stared at the door frame.

"…..WHAT!?" Cartman managed to get out at last.

Token, who had been trying to strangle the fat fuck with his bare hands, immediately dropped Cartman "That's it, I'm outta here."

"…Waaah haaha!" cried Clyde. (honestly who could blame him for crying?)

"Well I guess we learned why it's wrong to make racist remarks! This is a lesson I'm sure none of us will forget!" Jason said with a grin.

Everyone looked at him.

"Dude who the fuck are you?" asks Stan.

**PEACE OUT HOME DAWGS **

**R&R**


End file.
